[Verse 1] I wanna tell you all a story About a Harper Valley widowed wife Who had a teenage daughter Who attended Harper Valley Junior High Well, her daughter came home one afternoon And didn't even stop to play And she said, "Mom, I got a note here From the Harper Valley PTA" [Verse 2] Well, the note said, "Mrs. Johnson You're wearin' your dresses way too high It's reported you've been drinking And a-running 'round with men and goin' wild And we don't believe you oughta be A-bringin' up your little girl this way" And it was signed by the secretary Harper Valley PTA [Verse 3] Well, it happened that the PTA Was gonna meet that very afternoon And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson Wore her miniskirt into the room And as she walked up to the blackboard I can still recall the words she had to say She said, "I'd like to address this meeting Of the Harper Valley PTA" [Verse 4] "Well, there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there And seven times he's asked me for a date And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lotta ice Whenever he's away And, Mr. Baker, can you tell us why Your secretary had to leave this town? And shouldn't widow Jones be told to keep Her window shades all pulled completely down?" [Verse 5] "Well, Mr. Harper couldn't be here 'Cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again And if you'll smell Shirley Thompson's breath You'll find she's had a little nip of gin And then you have the nerve to tell me You think that as a mother I'm not fit Well, this is just a little Peyton Place And you're all Harper Valley hypocrites" [Outro] No, I wouldn't put you on, because it really did It happened just this way The day my mama socked it to The Harper Valley PTA The day my mama socked it to The Harper Valley PTA