[Verse 1] A man walks down the street He says, "Why am I soft in the middle, now? Why am I soft in the middle? The rest of my life is so hard I need a photo-opportunity I want a shot at redemption Don't want to end up a cartoon In a cartoon graveyard" Bonedigger, Bonedigger Dogs in the moonlight Far away in my well-lit door Mr. Beerbelly, Beerbelly Get these mutts away from me You know, I don't find this stuff amusing anymore [Chorus] If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al [Verse 2] A man walks down the street He says, "Why am I short of attention? Got a short little span of attention And, whoa, my nights are so long Where's my wife and family? What if I die here? Who'll be my role model Now that my role model is gone, gone?" He ducked back down the alley With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl All along, along There were incidents and accidents There were hints and allegations [Chorus] If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al Call me Al [Interlude] [Verse 3] A man walks down the street It's a street in a strange world Maybe it's the third world Maybe it's his first time around Doesn't speak the language He holds no currency He is a foreign man He is surrounded by the sound, the sound Cattle in the marketplace Scatterlings and orphanages He looks around, around He sees angels in the architecture Spinning in infinity He says, "Amen and Hallelujah!" [Chorus] If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al Call me [Bridge] Na na na na, na na na na Na na na na, na na na-na na-na Na na na na, na-na na-na na na Na na na na, na na na na [Outro] If you'll be my bodyguard I can call you Betty If you'll be my bodyguard I can call you Betty If you'll be my bodyguard