[Verse 1] Mother, father, I'm here in the zoo I can't come home 'cause I've grown up too soon I got my sentence, I got my command They said they'd make me major if I met all their demands [Pre-Chorus] I could be a corporal into corporal punishment Or the general manager of a large establishment They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod But I never thought they'd put me in the [Chorus] Goon squad They've come to look you over and they're giving you the eye Goon squad They want you to come out to play, you'd better say goodbye [Verse 2] Some grow up just like their dads and some grow up too tall Some go drinking with the lads, some don't grow up at all You must find the proper place for everything you see But you'll never get to make a lampshade out of me [Pre-Chorus] I could join a chain of males or be the missing link Looking for a lucky girl to put me in the pink They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod But I never thought they'd put me in the [Chorus] Goon squad They've come to look you over and they're giving you the eye Goon squad They want you to come out to play, you'd better say goodbye [Verse 3] Mother, father, I'm doing so well I'm making such progress now that you can hardly tell I fit in a little dedication with one eye on the clock They caught you under medication, you could be in for a shock [Pre-Chorus] Thinking up the alibis that everyone's forgotten Just another Mummy's boy gone to rotten They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod But I never thought they'd put me in the [Chorus] Goon squad They've come to look you over and they're giving you the eye Goon squad They want you to come out to play, you'd better say goodbye