Be courteous, kind and forgiving Be gentle and peaceful each day Be warm and human and grateful And have a good thing to say Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike Be witty and happy and wise Be honest and love all your neighbors Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent Criticize things you don't know about Be oblong and have your knees removed Be tasteless, rude, and offensive Live in a swamp and be three dimensional Put a live chicken in your underwear Get all excited and go to a yawning festival (Ok, everybody!) Be courteous, kind and forgiving Be gentle and peaceful each day Be warm and human and grateful And have a good thing to say Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike Be witty and happy and wise Be honest and love all your neighbors Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent Criticize things you don't know about Be oblong and have your knees removed (Ladies only, please!) Be tasteless, rude, and offensive (Now the men!) Live in a swamp and be three dimensional (Everybody!) Put a live chicken in your underwear Go into a closet and suck eggs You guys are gonna be on a record Maybe, someday, not mine of course