Sittin with the fat man Tryin to get a loan Talkin about horses And the women that we've known Spittin on the sidewalk Squintin into the sun Greetin all the people Smilin at everyone I said, "Hey, listen, Fat Man I just can't get a break Must I pay my whole life long For just one mistake?" "My brother's in the armed forces My sister is in jail Won't you give me fifty dollars So I can pay her bail?" He said, "You can't fool the fat man No, you can't fool me You're just a two-bit grifter And that's all you'll ever be" "You can't fool the fat man No, you can't fool me You're just a two-bit grifter And that's all you'll ever be"