They ask about my life and how it is I say I’m sick of getting rewarded for my cowardice And not embracing challenges Sick cause I’m surrounded with Sectarian politics and vengeance games Negligence and petty scrapes Screams mollified for selfish sakes and when the Camel’s spine is bisected, DC will get the blame But we sewed the clothes in the bureau, leaders dress and wave No one will confess mistakes It feels like things might never change, but… (In no time at all, this will be the distant past) I guess that’s a consistent fact But all that talk about patience makes me feel placated I’m a fetus needing English so these screams can be language Yoked myself to this trade, slave ‘til vindication Mama’s pushing her hardest but I still strap on the harness I’m angry, I’m alone But I’m afraid to find a home Cause in my memory, identity breeds codependent enemies No one joins a team without a podium they’re intent to reach Pardon me; my role models broke bread with Jack Horner Told themselves they were good boys, told me the house was war-torn Stigmatized my emotions, don’t ask where my mentors were Fear-fed crack baby rock-a-byed in the corner My stepdad is the Internet Cause no one tests my intellect Propaganda told me I wasn’t made by my hood But its initials have signed every single page in my rhyme book And if I can’t blame my parents for my social anxieties Then how do I reconcile biases born as my Siamese? What kind of legacy can I expect to leave when I don’t trust And never speak to anyone in the cubicle next to me? I’m groupthink cruising, guarding chimeras of safety In a pit of hypochondria cause it’s gone on for long enough I cling to the earth as hard as I scream to be uprooted Impatience and discomfort send me retreating to my music My cradle walls broaden as the teats I feed on become more discreet, I age My strictly-meat palette of tête-à-tête prevents true symmetry Fear’s a ubiquity but I’ll blame what progenitors did to me My whole ego is built on being philosophically homeless I keep to myself, I reap reciprocal coldness