[Verse 1] Well, I wake up in the morning, there's frogs inside my socks Your mama, she's hidin' inside the icebox Your daddy walks in wearin' a Napoleon Bonaparte mask Then you ask why I don't live here Honey, do you have to ask? [Verse 2] Well, I go to pet your monkey, I get a face full of claws I ask who's in the fireplace and you tell me Santa Claus The milkman comes in, he's wearing a derby hat And you ask why I don't live here Honey, how come you have to ask me that? [Verse 3] Well, I asked for somethin' to eat, I'm hungry as a hog So I get brown rice, seaweed and a dirty hot dog I've got a hole where my stomach disappeared Then you ask why I don't live here Honey, I gotta' think you're really weird [Verse 4] Your grandpa's cane, it turns into a sword Your grandma prays to pictures that are pasted on a board Everything inside my pockets your uncle steals And you ask why I don't live here Honey, I can't believe that you're for real [Verse 5] There's fistfights in the kitchen, they're enough to make me cry Little mailman comes in, even he's got to take a side Even the butler, he's got something to prove Then you ask why I don't live here Honey, how come you don't move?