[Verse 1] Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical Science in the home Late nights all alone with a test tube, oh, oh, oh, oh Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine Calls her on the phone "Can I take you out to the pictures, Joa-oa-oa-oan?" But as she's getting ready to go A knock comes on the door [Chorus] Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer Came down upon her head Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer Made sure that she was dead [Verse 2] Back in school again, Maxwell plays the fool again Teacher gets annoyed Wishing to avoid an unpleasant sce-e-e-ene She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away So he waits behind Writing fifty times "I must not be so, o, o, o" But when she turns her back on the boy He creeps up from behind [Chorus] Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer Came down upon her head (Do-do-do-do-do) Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer Made sure that she was dead (Do-do-do-do-do) [Verse 3] P. C. 31 said, "We caught a dirty one" Maxwell stands alone Painting testimonial pictures, oh, oh, oh, oh Rose and Valerie, screaming from the gallery Say he must go free (Maxwell must go free) The judge does not agree and he tells them so-o-o-o But as the words are leaving his lips A noise comes from behind [Chorus] Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer Came down upon his head (Do-do-do-do-do) Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer Made sure that he was dead [Outro] Whoa, whoa, whoa-oa (Do-do-do-do-do) (Silver hammer man)